Two weeks ago, Newcastle United managing director Derek Llambias told the BBC that relegation was ‘totally inconceivable’. Today, only goal difference keeps the club out of the relegation zone. Effectively managerless, Newcastle have won only one of their last thirteen games (and that was against rock-bottom West Brom). Despite fist-pumping declarations in the press about Saturday’s game being a must-win ‘cup final’, the team turned in another lacklustre performance and failed to beat Hull City. The club’s next two games are against Arsenal and Chelsea.

Realistically, in order to have a chance to beat the drop Newcastle need to win all of their last three home fixtures against Portsmouth, Middlesbrough and Fulham. But Newcastle have only won four home games all season, failing to beat the likes of Stoke, Sunderland, West Ham, Man City, Blackburn, Wigan… Relegation is anything but ‘inconceivable’.

The Llambias comments were made as part of a PR offensive with local press and radio, presumably intended to get the fans back onboard the Ashley regime’s sinking ship. The problem that local reporters have is that they rely on the club for access to the press conferences and interviews that are their daily bread and butter, so all too often they toe the party line. As a result, the Llambias interviews were nothing more than puff pieces.

So Llambias was not challenged on his comment that relegation was inconceivable, nor on his claim that Newcastle’s squad is up there with the best in the league. At no point was Llambias asked, for example, ‘Can you explain your rationale for going into a relegation battle without a manager?’ Or, ‘What qualifications or experience make you the right man to run one of the biggest football clubs in the country?’

Comparisons with the Titanic are easy to make, but nonetheless appropriate. The only difference is that Captain Smith was actually onboard the Titanic, and not trying to steer the thing from his sick bed. Joe Kinnear was hospitalised six weeks ago, on the morning of the match against West Brom. There followed a ten-day international break – the perfect opportunity for the club to appoint a new manager, if only until the end of the season.

Let’s hope Joe Kinnear makes a full and swift recovery – he seems like a decent, and certainly honest, man. But, with the best will in the world, he was not suitable for the Newcastle United manager’s job. His record before his illness shows just 4 wins in 21 games. Kinnear had accumulated more FA charges than victories, and his habit of spouting guff at press conferences was nothing short of embarrassing. Yet Kinnear claims to have a new contract waiting on his desk for him to sign, and Llambias has said that Joe is the man to lead the club forward.

Chris Hughton, left holding the reins during Kinnear’s absence, has already signed a new contract. His win ratio is similar to Kinnear’s, having won just one out of five. But Hughton, like any caretaker manager, has a thankless task. Who selected Saturday’s inept midfield pairing of Geremi (a man who treads so much water he must surely have trenchfoot) and Alan Smith (who is so often on his backside it seems a waste to give him boots)? Hughton is dealing with a squad of overpaid underachievers, and nobody knows who’s in charge.

Kinnear is apparently due back soon, but, realistically, will that make a jot of difference? I wrote in January that if Newcastle go down they will struggle to come back up. Too big to go down? If you believe that, you’re kidding yourself. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

My book, about supporting Newcastle United in happier times, is Black & White Army.

Paul Football